Jokes

¿Alguna vez has pensado en lo bien que quedarías si fueras capaz de contar un chiste en inglés? ¿ has intentado traducir un chiste del español, pero entre tus amigos ingleses no ha tenido gracia? El humor es algo muy subjetivo y cultural, por lo tanto un chiste que aquí en España te parece graciosísimo a un inglés puede no hacerle gracia. 

Si quieres que tu inglés suene más natural necesitas actualizar tu lista de chistes. Aquí te dejo algunos para que te rías un rato!!

What is the difference between a cat and a dog, Dogs think: Humans are benevolent, they feed me, and take care of me, so they must be Gods; cats instead think: HUmans are benevolent, they feed me, and take care of me, so I must be God.

An elephant asked a camel, "why you have your breasts on your back?”
The camel replied, "what a silly question coming from someone who got his cock on his face." 

Two men at the station:
- At what time does your train leave?
- At two to two. And what about yours?
- At two to two too!

- Do you know why the ocean is blue?
- Because fish make blue, blue, blue, blue...

Y, the last but not the least, un chiste largo, que te hará quedar estupendamente entre ingleses e irlandeses....

The only cow in a small town in Ireland stopped giving milk.Then the town folk found they could buy a cow in Scotland quitecheaply.So, they brought the cow over from Scotland .It was absolutely wonderful,it produced lots of milk every day and everyone was happy.They bought a bull to mate with the cow to get more cows,so they'd never have to worry about their milk supply again.They put the bull in the pasture with the cow butwhenever the bull tried to mount the cow,the cow would move away.No matter what approach the bull tried,the cow would move away from the bull,and he was never able to do the deed.The people were very upset and decided to go tothe Vet, who was very wise, tell him what was happening andask his advice."Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away.If he approaches from the back, she moves forward.When he approaches her from the front, she backs off.If he attempts it from the one side, she walks away to the other side."The Vet rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered thisbefore asking,"Did you, by chance, buy this cow in Scotland ?"The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentionedthat they had brought the cow over from Scotland ."You are truly a wise Vet," they said."How did you know we got the cow from Scotland ?The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye:"My wife is from Scotland "